With 4 girls, just about every time we go anywhere we get the comments about Daddy needing a shotgun to fight off the boys and about how much fun it is going to be when they are teenagers, etc. I've always just told the girls that they don't need to worry about finding a husband because Daddy will choose for them. (The only problem with that plan is that Abbi is determined to marry Daddy, but I figure she will get over that eventually.) We know that eventually we will have to lay down guidelines for courtship/ dating but we figured that we have a while before that starts and for now we are just praying for wisdom for that time, for our girls' future spouses, and that God will give our girls wisdom as well. But I have to say that I never expected to be addressing the "kissing boys" issue so soon! (For the record, Mark was the only boy I ever kissed and I truly hope my girls will be able to say the same thing.)
Last year when Karis was 6, she had a boy in her class at Classical Conversations who was determined he was going to marry her. He told her so very confidently just about every week. Thankfully, she didn't want to marry him and just laughed and told him no every time so it wasn't a big issue. (She was actually a bit concerned the first time he said it and said, "But Mama, I don't want to marry Levi!" She was quite relieved to find out that the girl actually has to say yes before it is official and Daddy has to say yes first!) So it was a good first discussion on that kind of thing and I thought it would be a while before we had more.
This January, Abbi, (my 4-YEAR OLD!) randomly got a big smooch on the mouth by her best buddy James. She was quite excited about it. I'm not sure where he got the idea but apparently there was some encouragement from his sister and perhaps my girls who all thought it was hilarious. (They have mentioned several times that Abbi should marry him so that they can be sisters with his big sister, their best friend.) Thankfully, both Mark and the little guy's parents were there to witness the event so it got nipped in the bud very quickly. We immediately instigated a rule that the girls are not allowed to kiss any boys but Daddy and Papas!
We thought that would be the end of it, but then, on Valentine's weekend, Karlie was in SPARKS (a church function) when one of her friends from Sunday school came up, hugged her, and gave her a big kiss on the cheek, telling her how cute she is. We didn't find out about it until later that night when the girls came home excited to tell us all about it. Sigh. We gave her strict instructions to tell him that she wasn't allowed to kiss anyone but Daddy and Papas and were quite serious about it. But sure enough, the following Wednesday, as Mark was walking in the door to pick her up from Music Makers (another church function), he caught Austin hugging and kissing on her again! (She said she told him she wasn't supposed to kiss boys but I guess he didn't think she was serious. She does laugh at him all the time.) The timing couldn't have been more perfect, though, and Mark saw it and called him over immediately and told him never to kiss his daughter again. The fella looked a little scared so Mark softened it a bit by telling him that if he ever did it again, Mark would make him kiss Pup-pup and that made the little fella laugh again. But he knew... Then the little boy's Daddy happened to walk in and asked if Austin was causing trouble. Mark hated to say anything, but since he asked..... Needless to say, the boy hasn't tried to kiss Karlie again!
It is all kind of funny and silly since they are so young but at the same time, we really want to teach our girls how to be sweet young ladies with discretion. If we let them kiss boys at this age, how will we teach them restraint when they are older and actually sweet on a fella? No, I guess it's never to early to start teaching them about purity and waiting on God's best.