Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Lets be honest...

After looking back at my posts this week, I realized that I needed to make a disclaimer and be completely honest about this week.  Yes, we have had great fun with Grandma and Papa and done some pretty exciting things.  I took lots of pictures because I wanted Daddy to be able to see everything we have done and be a part of it even while on his business trip.  I am ever so thankful for my parents because I don't even want to think about what my week would have been like had I not had their help.  they have been amazing.

But I failed to mention that this has been the absolutely most exhausting and frustrating parenting week of my life.  I have never seen my girls act so horribly!  My joyful, usually happy-to-pease 5-year old decided to challenge every single instruction (from me or her doting grandparents) with utter defiance, my sweet 3 year old was an emotional wreck who fell apart at every little thing, all the while finding ways to annoy her big sister, and my amazing, wonder-sleeping toddler reverted back to needing me to sit in her room in order to fall asleep without red-faced hysterics!  What in the world happened to my children?  I couldn't even dream of our wonderful early 7:00 bedtime, because that was challenged as well and I never got them all settled before 9:00.  There were many dramatic moments filled with screaming and hysterics from the girls and countless times when I just wanted to sit down and cry and tell Mark that he had better come home RIGHT NOW!

So there you have it.  I failed miserably at parenting this week.  I'm sure much of it had to do with the fact that our "knight in shining armor" was gone and we were away from our peaceful schedule.  There is no doubt in my mind why I try to stay home with them all week long and only have one day for errands.  My girls simply thrive on a schedule.  When they know what is coming next, they don't even try to argue. Undoubtedly, Karis is going through one of "those stages" where I must buckle down and discipline every single thought of rebellion or she simply runs over me.  Karlie really needs her Daddy's snuggles.  And Abbi just needs to go home and get back on her sleep schedule.  We will be ok.  But I'm still upset right now.  I told my mom today that last week I was finally feeling "ready" should God decide to bless us with another baby but now I feel like I can't even handle what He has already given me!   It definitely made me re-evaluate what we are teaching our kids and how we handle discipline and what I should change.  Karis Lynn better get ready because next week starts obedience boot-camp (and it will probably not be very pretty to see!) And most importantly, spiritual boot camp for myself.  My strength comes from the Lord and only He can grant me the patience and wisdom I need to properly reach their hearts with His love.   I'm not supposed to be able to "handle it" on my own.  I don't want to discipline them just to get them to obey; I want to touch their hearts so they can see their sin and want to change.  I need to do a better job of praying for my children and not just relying on a great schedule to keep things going smoothly.    So while I'm still a good bit emotional about how this week turned out, I'm trying to be thankful.  Thankful that the Lord showed me areas that we can all work on.  Because I can never be a good parent on my own (even when Mark is around).  I need my Heavenly Father to help me.


Sandy said...

Thank you for this post! Sometimes, I get down as well and wonder how on earth can "I" handle it all. With two pre-teens and their emotional and hormonal changes and our little one on the way, somedays I feel overwhelmed. I love what you said about not wanting to discipline just to get them to obey. This really touched home with me. Thank you for this reminder to continually trust God and lean on Him. :)

Claire said...

Meg, I'm so sorry you had such a tough week, but I loved this post - honest and inspiring, and it sounds like this experience has given you plenty of 'food for thought'. You are such a great mum.

Polish mama said...

You are a wonderful mum Meg! I always, always fing inspiration on your blog.
I believe that things already get better and that You feel more comfortable now, on weekend. You know... there are just these days... all mothers have them when kids just don't want to listen, but you have wonderful children and I always admire how you take care of them and the whole house. Take good care!